My mother recently had all her teeth pulled because her medication gave her dry mouth (or xerostomia as some fancy people call it). Evidently saliva plays a crucial role in fighting bacteria. So when our mouths go dry we’re pretty much defenseless and screwed, our teeth turn black and have to get yanked. (Or at least that’s the fait for those who shrug off doctors’ warnings, as people in my family tend to do!).

So now my poor mom’s wearing dentures, and it’s been a tough transition. Her bottom “teeth” don’t fit properly, and she spends at least half of any given day in severe pain. Sometimes it’s so unbearable that she removes her dentures altogether. Usually she doesn’t like to do this, I think because she’s self-conscious about how she looks without teeth. But, truth be told, the misfitting dentures don’t look much better. Whether they are in or out, she will never look like herself again. When they’re out, her face looks crumpled like an old farmer in a rocking chair. When she puts her teeth back in, she looks like a football player or boxer wearing a mouthpiece, and she talks like one too, because the fake teeth are way to big.

But I think the hardest part for me, if I had to wear dentures, would be eating. The entire experience of sitting down for a meal seems profoundly different for a person with dentures. My mom can’t feel the texture of whatever she’s eating against the roof of her mouth or against her teeth. And I don’t even want to speculate about how much more of a hassle it must be to clean dentures, compared to brushing real teeth.

My mom was not taking amphetamines like me, but her ordeal got me thinking about adderall and about what affect it may have on my teeth in the future. As I mentioned in a previous entry, adderall is notorious for causing dry mouth and dehydration. Most people on adderall also grit their teeth incessantly. Have you ever noticed how cocaine users can’t stop grinding their teeth and moving their jaws? Same reason; I don’t know the science behind it, but taking stimulants or amphetamines makes people want to bite down really, really hard. I worry a lot about what years of teeth-grinding and cotton mouth will do to my pearly whites.